You would think that, as a financial planner, I would know my own money script. After all, money is what I think about almost all of the time! But, maybe not surprisingly, I didn’t know what I thought I knew about myself and money until I took a course on money scripts.

As I’ve reflected on my own money scripts, I’ve learned how my beliefs and understandings of money have shaped my own life. It’s a lot like being married. Let me explain. 

If you’ve ever been in therapy (raises hand), you’ve probably talked a lot about the scripts or “stories” that have shaped your life. For example, maybe when you get rejected from a job, your “story” is that you’re not good enough to do that type of work. Or, if you’re in a relationship, maybe every time your partner forgets to do the dishes, your “story” might be that they don’t care about keeping your place clean. 

These “stories” aren’t necessarily true. Of course, you’re good enough to have the job you want. Of course your partner wants to have a clean house. If there is a grain of truth to them, it most likely has everything to do with how our beliefs were shaped growing up. 

Our thoughts about money fall prey to the same type of scripts. Talking about money is often taboo in families. It’s something shameful we are left to ponder by ourselves. In our intimate relationships, it can be something that causes conflict. And even in a safe space like psychotherapy, money doesn’t get a lot of session time. 

We write our scripts about money by watching those around us. Sometimes those scripts end up undermining what we’re trying to achieve later in life; sometimes the scripts help us build the wealth and life we want. By taking a deep look at how our lives are shaped by money scripts, we can learn how to rewrite the story for our benefit.

What is a money script?

A money script is a belief that we carry around with us—whether we are aware of it or not—that shapes how we think about money. They are often not fully known to us and we often follow them as an actor would follow a script, hence their name money scripts. 

The concept of a money script was formed by Dr. Brad Klontz and his father, Dr. Ted Klontz, who write in their book, Facilitating Financial Health, with Rick Kahler, CFP® “Money scripts often consist of incomplete, conflicting or partial truths . . . We keep acting on them even when they cause us pain, never questioning where they came from or the degree to which behaving as if they are true helps or hurts our current financial lives.” 

So rather than acting blindly, think about what your money scripts really are. Having trouble identifying them? You can take a short quiz here, developed by the Klontz duo, which will ask you a number of questions about your beliefs about money and categorize them into four buckets. These categories tell you something about how you might think about money. The categories are: money avoidance, money worship, money status, and money vigilance. 

Read more about your relationship with money. 

The Four Categories of Money Scripts

Money Avoidance: If you’re in this category, you tend to think money is bad and you’re not deserving of money. You also associate wealth with greed.

Some common examples from the KMSI: 

• I don’t deserve a lot of money when others have less than me.
• Money corrupts people. 

Money Status: This is the category where you feel like having money or not determines your place in society, relative to friends and what your worth is. Money and your worth become blurred. 

Some common examples from the KMSI: 

• Your self-worth = your net worth. 
• You can have love or money but not both.

Money Worship: In a nutshell, you most likely believe that, on some level, money will solve all your problems. 

Some common examples from the KMSI: 

• You can never have enough money.
• Money will solve all my problems. 

Money Vigilance: People in this category tend to be very anxious about money, protection and safety. This is where I score highest! 

Some common examples from the KMSI: 

• Money should be saved not spent.
• You should not tell others how much money you have or make. 

We all have some scripts and beliefs about money that fit into each of these categories. By no means are all these scripts universally bad; they may just not always be serving us well. 

What do we do with our money scripts? How do they impact your life? 

Learning more about your money scripts first brings you awareness of them. Money scripts are often unexamined beliefs that have you operating on autopilot. Take stock: are they helpful, harmful, or neutral? Try to become aware of your money scripts without judging yourself.

If they are helpful, great. If they are harmful, how are they getting in the way, and what can you do to rewire the belief and how it impacts your day to day? 

To get you started, we’ve put together some money affirmations that’ll help you “flip the script”. Say these out loud, write them down, use them as conversation starters . . . however you choose to use them, we hope they’ll reverse some of the taboos and stigmas you may have developed about money in your life. 

Money Affirmation Exercise

Money is bad. Not deserving of money. > Money is good, and everyone, including me, deserves it.

You can have money or love but not both. > I am worthy of money and love. My financial success does not dictate my worthiness of love and belonging.

Money will solve all problems. > I am grateful for what I have. I am capable of handling life’s challenges and finding the resources I need when I need them.

Money is a source of anxiety, and should be safeguarded. > There is an abundance of money and there is enough for everyone, including me. 

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